Over a year since my last post

Over a year since my last post, my have I neglected this place. It's amazing how much one can change in the course of a year...how much one can learn and unlearn, can see and forget. What drove me to post now? I think it's because I commented elsewhere, and realized...I'd neglected this place. I honestly didn't remember much of what I had posted except for the goodbye message for Pope John Paul II and the Aerith/Hojo scene.

So I'm sitting here, and what am I doing? I'm watching EWTN instead of writing more on the NaNoWriMo of this year, the celebratory Mass for the restoration of the Baltimore Bascilica. Quite beautiful actually, moreso than I would have imagined. Also, more humble.

I sometimes find it almost oxymoronic, that with the grandeur it can display, how humble the Roman Catholic Church can have. While this is indeed far more grandiose than what I would be used to seeing in a church service, it seems to hold none of the righteous indignation I far too often see, and holds itself with a humility I find refreshing from the likes of the United States Conference of Catholic Bishops.

Now that it's ending, the benediction given...I note I just saw a black bishop. It quite honestly brought a smile to my face. Most of this world's believers are Latin or African or Asian, not Caucasian...and it's good to see that reflected amongst a group's leadership. Skin color doesn't matter to God, even if it matters for some reason to we, His children...He knows us to be all the same, sinners, a fallen race undeserving of His Love and His Grace. Yet, He sent His Son to die for us upon the cross...a gift, which will never be matched, can never be matched.

I have doubts many times...many more times than I would care to admit honestly. Yet, I do have them, no matter how often I have seen Him at work in my life and in the life of others. Perhaps, that is why I find myself writing a NaNoWriMo novel entitled Salvation.

It's the story of a girl raised in a cult masquerading as Pentecostals, of her friend who is desperately wanting out, of a Pagan who needs to find truth. It is a story of angels and demons in the background, seemingly removed from the playing field, but still affecting the outcomes. It is the story of how faith can save a life, and can shatter the chains that can hold us all.

Even if we are villified by history as Pope Pius XII was, we should not lose hope...labelled as Hitler's Pope; despite opening Vatican City up to shelter Jews, paying off the SS with the Vatican's treasury, issuing denunciations of the Nazi regime in his encylicals. Upon his death, the nation of Israel mourned, for even as others were content to smear this holy man, there were those now living in Israel who remembered the tremendous risk he took to stand against Hitler. Did Pius XII ever cease to praise God when faced with the overwhelming presence of the Nazi regime around him, as he was decried as Hitler's dog? No...he did not. For that, I hold him in great respect, and will freely admit, he will be one of the reasons for the seeking Pagan's conversion in this story.

This is a story I feel driven to write, most especially as I think of what two Saints once said. I believe it was Saint Ambrose who once said, "There is nothing evil save that which perverts the mind and shackles the conscience." If anything, this is one of the central themes in Salvation, and if there is a second central theme, it must be as Saint Augustine once said, "Miracles are not contrary to nature, but only contrary to what we know about nature. "

What is the true main theme however, of Salvation? It is the theme of God's undying Love for us. It is that He sent His Son for us, and that even when we are in the dark twilight of the soul, alienated from those whom claim to preach in His name at the top of their lungs, we are still loved by Him. By the end, this story will hopefully show that the Lord should be praised in all things.

Glad to share,
Philip