My Damascus

Tonight in RCIA we were discussing the order of the Mass, and of the true presence of Christ in the Eucharist, and I was nearly overcome by memory and by love. I want to share that memory:

I was increasingly growing convinced of Catholicism, and my perceptions were shifting. I will admit that I was frightened; the ride had been as Scott Hahn put it, a detective story, a horror story, and a love story. I was in the firm grasp of the horror as time after time I was finding Scripture to back up what the Roman Catholic Church taught.

Thus in my desperation, I asked my beloved, a Catholic, to find a place where I could go to Eucharistic Adoration. I reasoned that I could confront the Eucharist and show myself that all of Catholicism was wrong. If the Eucharist was merely a piece of bread, then I would be able to refute all of it! Without the Eucharist the entirety of Catholicism could be ruled out, and so in a Godwink, one of many, she found the only Perpetual Adoration Chapel in the entire state less than forty minutes from my dorm room.

It was in Shinnston, a town I had never been to before, at a place called Blessed Margaret of Castello. So I set out in the driving rain, in the dark, to go to a town I had never been to before, on back roads (the only way into it), with no idea what would happen when I showed up. Eventually I found the church and the chapel, and smiled a bit at the "Thou Shalt Not Park On Street" signs; and I prayed to the Lord to give me guidance as I prepared to enter the lion's den.

I made a cursory bow as I had often seen Catholics do and sat at one of the chairs next to the only other person there. I began to read how to say the Rosary, small prayers, other things...and an hour later I smiled in victory. This so called Eucharist was nothing but bread...however I am a prideful sinner, and decided to take the time to gloat. So I raised my eyes to meet that 'stupid piece of bread' and I felt the tears come down. The weight of history and of everything I had read began to enter my mind and I fell on to my knees on the kneeler before me, for I realized at that moment that I had lost. I had gone in that instant from the horror story to the love story, because I was kneeling in the presence of Jesus Christ. My Lord, my Savior, was close enough to reach out and touch except for the glass of the lunette.

Before the night was over, I had prayed my first rosary in the presence of Christ. And I had wept before Him. For the rest of Senior year I went faithfully each Wednesday 10pm to 11pm to sit in silence and in awe.

When I found out my cousins both were in high risk pregnancies, it was to that chapel where I went to commune with God, and to ask for the intercession of Blessed Margaret of Castello. When I found out my mother had cancer, it was to that chapel where I went to ask God why, and for aid and comfort. Shortly before Graduation from Undergrad, it was to that chapel I went to gratefully proclaim my love for Christ, and my thanks to both He, and to the intercession of Blessed Margaret of Castello for my cousins both giving birth to healthy children. It was to that chapel I returned when my mother's cancer was declared excised after a number of post-surgery tests.

To kneel humbly before Christ, to whisper my thanks and lay bare my faults. That is Eucharistic Adoration to me; to know you sit with the Lord and to give unto Him the worship that is deserved.