Transformers 3: A Review

I want to start off by saying I read a review last night over on Renewing the Media about this film, and it may have biased my perceptions a bit prior to going to see it. Also, spoilers ahead.

Normally during the summer, I'm entirely pumped for a Michael Bay explosion fest. It's mindless entertainment, the good guys always win, etc. However, if I walked away with anything (aside from a sore body from sitting through 45 minutes of previews and 2.5 hours of film) it was that there is no such thing as a good guy in this film.

The beginning of this cinematic piece had me pretty hopeful, but at the same time sighing. It had me sighing because half the subtitles for locations were off the screen, so instead of saying "Pentagon, Washington D.C." I saw "gon, Washington D.C." and "CIA Director's Office, Langley" I saw "A Director's Office, Langley". It had me hopeful because we used footage of the space race and almost seamlessly integrated it into the plotline and acting used. Also, Buzz Aldrin playing Buzz Aldrin? That was epic!

However, sadly, the movie went downhill from there and never really met my standards of a hero film afterwards. Let's start with Megan Fox. She was pretty reviled by the fans for her lack of acting skills and her just being there for eye candy. We're told twice in the movie that she simply dumped Sam one day. That's the entire explanation for why she isn't in it after they essentially survived Armageddon twice!

Instead, Sam is living with a blonde British woman whose first introduction is an upskirt-esque shot of her panties under the button up shirt she's wearing while they live together. If anything she becomes even more of a sexual object as the film goes on, and quite frankly every Bond Girl that James Bond has ever had sex and an adventure with was less sensual and more competent than this woman. The height of this woman's competence was to tell Megatron he was nothing but Sentinel Prime's bitch to make him betray his erstwhile ally. The height of her not wearing clothes that accentuated her body was the up-shirt panty shot. Oh, not to mention at one point she's captured and has metal tentacles hovering around her like a Japanese tentacle rape anime; fortunately they don't rape her, but it is creepy to watch them stroke at her hair.

As for there being no good guys...we resurrect Sentinel Prime, leader of the Autobots. He ends up betraying everyone because when he fled Cybertron, it was to meet Megatron on Earth because he was defecting; deciding that ruling as a God was preferable to a civil war. He betrays his fellow Autobots, executing one of them who had been guarding him without any sort of remorse.

During the climactic battle, Optimus has lost an arm to Sentinel Prime and is about to die when Megatron intervenes, saving Optimus and crippling Sentinel Prime. He then asks Optimus for a truce, and Optimus Prime responded by cutting his head off while Megatron is extending an offer of peace. After that, Optimus gets up and Sentinel Prime offers to surrender; after building up their father/son and mentor relationship the entire film, Optimus shoots his friend execution style through the head without a glimmer of remorse.

Yes the robotic messiah figure coldly executed his father figure while the father figure begged for his life. There is no good apparently in the Michael Bay Universe.

My Rating: D. Go if you want lots of explosions and special effects. If you want to see a woman not treated as a sex toy, and not see the messianic figure acting more like his enemies than his enemies do, you might want to skip this film.