The Journey Playlist

This is the story of a playlist, and the songs on it. They are in no particular order, but they do each have their meaning on my way to Catholicism.

1. Miserere mei, Deus -Trinity Chamber Choir: This is one of those songs which I've always associated with the Roman Catholic Church. Until Missy sent me a youtube link recently, I never knew the name. It is so haunting and beautiful.

2. What if I Stumble - D.C. Talk: The lyrics speak to a fear I've always held and kept, a fear I've occasionally indulged in. It is the fear of failing God, of turning my back on Him. The Sacrament of Reconciliation, I believe, would make things harder for that.

Hope Now - Addison Road: Recently added to my collection. If everything does come down to love, then what am I afraid of?

4. You Decide - Fireflight: Deciding what one stands for is a constant reminder to me to be firm in what I believe. To challenge what has been laid before me, and since the summer of 2003, this is what I have engaged in with Catholicism. I quite literally, have been wrestling with this decision for nearly a quarter of my life.

5. The Assumption - The Apologist: D-Major aka The Apologist, truly shows that Catholic themes can be brought into the realm of hip hop. This song in particular breaks down the Assumption of Mary, and what happened. I'd recommend any of his stuff though.

6. Sanctuary - Jaci Valasquez: My all time favorite praise and worship song, because it is truly a song of worship. When I lay crippled with fear of death, I begin to sing this softly to myself as I try to fall asleep. When I feel as though I need a reminder of what I am to be, I sing this as well. For we are called to be pure and holy, tried and true. A living sanctuary for the Grace of Christ.

7. What I've Done - Linkin Park: A secular song *gasp*! This song speaks to something I have trouble doing, forgiving myself. Those who know me well, know the tremendous guilt I feel for many things. To say the Lord's Prayer, we must be able to forgive those who have trespassed against us, including ourselves.

8. Et Misericordia - Artist not listed: Beautiful song, Mary's cry of praise to God in the Gospel expounded upon, that cry being the Magnificat.

9. I Can't Do This - Plumb: My anthem of Sophomore Year of University. It reminded me who and what I needed, Christ. God the Father. And the Holy Spirit.

10. Praise You In This Storm - Casting Crowns: I love Casting Crowns. This song was written in response to a loved one dying of cancer; and how we need to continue to praise God even in the storms of our lives. We must unite our suffering with His, we must offer it up.

11. East to West - Casting Crowns: This song focuses on the expanse of our Lord's love, that it is so far sweeping and so merciful. It also reminds of what He did for us on the cross at Calvary.

12. No Place So Far - Erin O'Donnel: I went through a really rough stretch last year as someone who gave me hope in there being some real Catholics backslid into Paganism. I was driving to Little Caesars for dinner when this song came on, and reduced me to tears. Where does the line begin and end, when do we toss our faith aside?

13. No One Like You - BarlowGirl: Christ was one of a kind. That's what this song reminded me of.

14. Who Am I - Casting Crowns: We are nothing without Him, and that brings me to this song. "Who am I, that the Lord of all the earth, would care to know my name"? I'm no one special, but He died for me. He left sacraments. He gives the gift of Grace.

15. Drifter - DecembeRadio: The Dark Night of the Soul. We all go through it at some point I believe, and this song really brings that to light. The first time I heard the term "Dark Night of the Soul" was on instant messenger and this was playing. The lyrics make so much sense.

16. My Immortal - Evanescence: Another secular song. I have an utmost terror of death, but this is the one song about death that I can stand. I actually adore it, because it makes one wonder why we do give in to our childish fears, instead of trusting in Him.

17. Breath of Heaven - Gretchen Harris: Not only is this song compelling, but it made me think of what Mary went through. You're a virgin, and then a celestial being announces you're carrying the Savior of the entire human race. There could be scandal, even death at the infidelity, but there was none. Then to bear the Christ...without Mary, there would be no Jesus Christ, for God selected her to bear Him.

19. My Jesus - Todd Agnew: This song is so sadly true. When churches become cliques, we lose sight of what is so very important in our lives. I do not know if Christ would be really welcome in most of the churches I have been to, because the blood on his feet might indeed stain the carpet.

19. I Can Only Imagine - MercyMe: The Eucharist solved the central theme of this song for me. I could only imagine what I would do when I was one day in His Presence in Heaven. When I did finally come into the Presence of Christ in the Eucharist, I had my answer. I wept.

20. What If - Nichole Nordeman: What if it is all a fairy tale? What if we all believe a lie? What if's abound in faith, and doubt is often a central player in them. In my case it was "What if the Catholics are right? They've been around so very long..."

21. Next Thing You Know - Matthew West: This song is about being Saved in Christ Jesus. It is about that moment where we give ourselves to Him, and the first time I heard it, I thought about that deciding moment when I truly gave myself unto Him. My first step into the great unknown of following Christ.

22. Missing Pages - Seventh Day Slumber: When we cut ourselves off from our fellow believers, this happens. We imprison ourselves within our own souls, we close our minds and we harden our hearts. I didn't realize how guilty I was of it at times until this song first played.

23. Christus Natus Est - St. Thomas Music Group: The antiphon to the Magnificat, and quite possibly one of the most important songs here. For today, this song proclaims, Christ is born unto us. God loves us enough to send His Son to die.

24. We Live - Superchick: Despite my fear of death, this song is always a good listen. We need to live the life we have been given, not become passive observers. We must embrace life, and sometimes do what we fear. In my case, submitting myself to the Roman Catholic Church.

25. I Dare You To Move - Switchfoot: Another song that encourages active participation in life. Live like each day is your last, because "tomorrow never happened before".

26. Stars - Switchfoot: This song is to me a great reminder on so many levels. For those who have never heard my conversion story to Christianity, my True embracing of Christ, a snippet shall suffice. I used to go to this summer camp, and I told God one year that if He took the lights off and allowed me to see the stars without any human light for the first time in my life...I would go forward for baptism and consider it a sign. It didn't happen. That year at least, but another summer there, it did...for no apparent reason, the generators went off, and I saw the stars, and was reduced to tears and the very next week, I kept my promise.

27. About You - ZoeGirl: The song from which all others on this list spring forth, for this was my first taste of Christian music. This was the first time I really realized modern music could be used to praise the Lord!

28. Something to Believe In - FM Static: Recommended by a dear friend in my late teens. It brought me to realize that an increasingly militant secular world does see it as teenage hunting season for souls.

29. Love is Here - Tenth Avenue North: This song always reminds me of the Divine Mercy of Christ. The "streams of mercy flowing from His side", just as the water and blood that bathed us came from the pierced side of Christ.

30. This Is Home - Switchfoot: This song...means so much to me. You see I was beginning to heavily debate if I was imagining Catholicism was for me, as I still do to an extent, and I was reading Hail Holy Queen and nodding at the common sense in it. Then this song began to play, and the lyrics spoke to me of having gone so far, and not being able to turn back. That this was home. Almost consistently, every time I doubt and flip on Air1, it's been playing.

31: This Man - Jeremy Camp: Without a doubt, I would not have the strength, nor the desire to take Christ's nails from His hands. Without the blood of the Lamb who was slain, we would be eternally damned.