I Was There (Drabble)

I was there. That's what they all whisper when they see me. I am the failure. I am the outcast. Of all of Hell's legions, I am the most reviled by my peers. I am the one who was entrusted by our Prince with the greatest task in history since we were cast down from Heaven.

There are other demons with tasks that even we find repulsive. The ones who whisper in the ears of would be tyrants, those who whisper in the ears of the people who would do things to small children, those who whisper in the ears of those who think they do the Great Enemy's work in the use of violence. Oh that's been a booming market since the human race began. Surprised I use a term like market?

Hell is a business. We invented Middle Management. We invented Micromanagement. We were the ones who invented paperwork! I digress however. I am reviled amongst my peers, for I was once the greatest amongst my Master's servants. I was given the most important task since we were cast down from Heaven. I was told to tempt the Nazarene whose name I am bound from saying. "Tempt Him, bring Him low, bring Him unto us," the Master told me.

The Master's words rang in my very essence as I tried time and again. I failed every time though. Every single time. I thought I had come so close in the Garden at Gethsmane...so very close. I had the Nazarene in tears as I whispered in to His ears, "Come Rabbi. No man can take what has been thrust upon you since Cana. Step down from Your burden. These people are not worth saving. You know that one of them is going to betray You on this night. Flee now."

So very close until He decided to cry out to His Father in Heaven. I whispered frantically in His ear time and again over the coming hours. I urged Him to speak before Pilate and order the Roman to spare His life. I did my best to orchestrate Pilate's opinion to be in favor of releasing Him, no matter the crowd and its feelings. In the end, Pilate still condemned Him to death on the cross.

I urged the guards on as they tortured Him. I wanted them to kill Him before He could take the burden of the sins of the world. If I could not turn the Nazarene, then I would have to kill Him before He became the eternal Passover Lamb. I pushed them to scourge harder, to not stop when ordered. Yet He clung to life. I urged them to shove a crown of thorns upon His head, and in so doing, I created a lasting iconic image for the Enemy.

I urged the guards to continue to whip Him and abuse Him along the path to His place of death. Yet that damn Rabbi refused to die. They even allowed another to carry His cross for Him. I worked on the man who ended up carrying the cross, and he too resisted my urgings and took it upon his own shoulder, crying out that he carried the cross for the condemned. I urged the crowds who had cheered His entry days before to cast stones upon Him, but they would do nothing more than stare and utter the occasional jeer. The Romans were taking an innocent man to die and they knew it, yet none would lift a finger against their occupiers.

I failed. He was placed upon the cross. He died before His legs were broken. The skies darkened, He took the burden of sin. The ground shook, the veil was torn both in the Temple and metaphysically...I failed my master. He descended. We were unprepared...it was like nothing we had seen since the War in Heaven. He triumphed and in three days He rose again.

I am the failure. I am the outcast. I wander this world, not welcome in Hell, an enemy of Heaven. I grow weaker with each passing day. As they cease believing in Him, so too, do they cease to believe in me. He is real. He is the One. He is God. He triumphed. He was without sin until He became it. I am damned. He triumphed over me. He triumphed over all the forces of Hell.

There is no penance for me. I am beyond saving. I am damned. I deserve my punishment though. I deserve my punishment.