D-Day and Fear vs. Fact

So...a little change is in the air for this post too. Normally I blog about D-Day, and to an extent I will. On this day, in 1994, men from free nations (and some occupied nations) stormed the beaches of Normandy to fight the tyranny of the Nazis. They did not know at the time, that the rumors government officials were hearing were true, that entire groups of people were being thrown into camps and killed. These men did not know that their enemy would fight to the very last of old men and young boys. These men did not truly know what would await them when they came off the boats.

They went anyhow. The largest amphibious assault in human history, a triumphant return compared to the fleeing from Dunkirk years before. However, these men fought for a goal that went unstated, a Europe free of oppression by their allies, the Soviet Union. In the end, half of Europe would languish in tyranny for another half a century and a world would come to be defined by a Cold War.

Now on to the rest of the post. A friend I've known since middle school recently posed this question on Formspring to me: What's the biggest question you have in regards to God, faith, or religion?

My answer was this: Lord, I know all about You. Your existence to me is as real as the air I breathe, a fact as simple to me as 2+2. So why in Your name does the concept of Eternity scare me?

You see, I can understand why people could be Atheists. Heck, I've been tempted by it before, though not by such pieces of strawmen arguments like Dawkins poses in The God Delusion. I mean really, think about it for a moment. We are small specks in this universe, a vast and infinite place. We are individuals, but we rose to dominance because we developed tools and the intelligence that was needed to triumph over other animals.

Infinite space and time and we claim that we alone are the chosen? It sounds like utter hubris. It sounds so fantastic to believe that some Creator would choose to make us, even if He used evolution.

Yet, I still believe. That's not a problem for me, belief. Even when I have been at my angriest with God, I have never doubted His existence. To think of Him as existing is as natural to me as knowing that I'm breathing in air right now. He's there. He's a fact of life.

I believe in God. I can't help it. I believe in angels and demons. I believe that there is a great war being waged for the souls of mankind and for more than that. I've seen and experienced too much not to believe; these things range from a car dying at an inopportune time for me saving my life from someone running a red light to my patron saint popping up everywhere in my life as I chose one for Confirmation to, well...maybe dying once.

You see, I suffered badly from sleep apnea when I was younger and only had my tonsils out at 21 years old. I would stop breathing literally hundreds of times a night. And one time, I had an experience like no dream I've ever had. I was in this really bright place, and I could feel, well...love. For lack of a better word. I know, it sounds like the classic near death experience.

Yet...I can believe all I want in God. I can trust His promises all I want in all things. But...I'm utterly terrified of eternity. Eternity is infinite. It never ends. Everything you have ever done and know is not even an eyeblink in comparison. I'll be honest, I broke out in a cold sweat just writing this paragraph.

Now I need to take my mind off it, and I'll probably read before bed. Confession tomorrow!