Once Upon A Time

I'm not really sure why I feel like writing this right now, but I think I will. It may be the conversations on free will; the fact that I heard the Bitch tonight, or even EWTN's Live show on "The Great Heresies". Yet, I feel a little bit of badly written rambling coming on.

Once upon a time I knew that I had all the answers I would need thanks to Christianity. Once upon a time I was young, and I was scared to go forward for baptism...and so I sat there, head bowed in prayer during Communion, not feeling as if I had the right to go forward, because I had not been baptised.

Once upon a time I went to church camp and was moved to tears by the Holy Spirit, and have spent the time since desperately wanting to find that sort of moment again. Once upon a time I enjoyed reaching for Him through suffering; to a level I suppose I still do, if not moreso than before.

Once upon a time, I stood for those who had no voice; I paid the price and continue to. Once upon the time I saw the works of God spur a church to new heights, only to watch it torn apart by infighting that such prestige brought.

Once upon a time I was called Satanist. Once upon a time I was called heretic. Once upon a time I was called blasphemer. Once upon a time I was called an anti-Christ. Once upon a time I was called a Christian Witch. Once upon a time I was called filthy denier of faith. Once upon a time I was referred to as the Wiccans' missionary.

Possibly twice upon a time I died. Once in my sleep, during twenty years of stopping my breathing in my sleep, I believe I died...and I experienced something that wasn't a dream, but divine. The other time I died when I accepted Him.

Once upon a time I was born again. Once upon a time I was an ultra conservative. Once upon a time I prayed for interesting times, for I could not fathom the Chinese proverb of them being a curse. Once upon a time I was horrified by my fellow humans. Once upon a time I prayed, "Not a war in Iraq now please, later..." and years passed until March 2003. Once upon a time I was raised with a distrust of Roman Catholics. Once upon a time I was afraid of witches.

Once upon a time a Jewish carpenter died on the cross. Once upon a time He rose again. Once upon a time his tale was spread by his friends and those who heard from them. Once upon a time there was a man named Saul, who would later be Paul. Once upon a time a song asked, "What if the crown of thorns is no more than folklore to be retold?"

Once upon a time I turned my back upon that man. Once upon a time I was reminded that one could never be redeemed for doing so. Once upon a time I didn't let that stop me from trying.

Once upon a time I had hope...and I do once more.