Musings of a Bookworm

I must admit that I have a weakness for books, and my latest weakness has tended to be the works of the urban fantasy author Richelle Mead. She captures characters in a believable manner, in settings that otherwise might seem absurd. Her Georgina Kincaid series in particular, holds a spot close to my heart; I even got someone close to me into it.

That said, since my breakup, her works have been harder to read as she captures heartache in breath taking detail. I find myself time and again going, "I've said that" or "I've done that". I pre-ordered the latest in the series, Succubus Shadows, and it has set unread for two weeks. I'm almost at the halfway point now that I picked it up, devouring it as I always do with her works. Yet my fears as to why I left it to sit were recognized on page 92, and my sorrows threatened to overwhelm me.

Then I put it to the side, and I prayed. I could feel my sorrow ebbing, and the thoughts of my dream returning to me. I'm better now, and I did read on another thirty pages before getting out of the bath. It astounds me, it was the first time I've ever been able to consciously push aside those feelings, even with the help of prayer.

It makes me happy. So much does really. Tonight I'm going to have dinner and then go to a friend's. Hopefully tomorrow, my thesis will go to the printers. Soon I will escape my father's tyranny and emotional abuse; and I'm informed by Missy that the parish on campus is a vibrant place where I can hopefully work on getting out of my shy attitude that has been layered upon me by a literal lifetime of emotional abuse. And this will be better than the last time I was thrust into a Church setting with people my own age; I will not allow myself to be ridiculed and mocked, to be scoffed upon as some sort of lesser Christian than thou. I will not be called anti-Christ, nor will I be referred to as a Satan worshiper or worshiper of angels.

Earlier today I heard a song for the first time that describes it best, Jimmy Needham's "Yours to Take":

This is my second chance
This is no song and dance
You came in and renewed a right spirit
This is grace at its best
This is taking a restless, messed up heart and having you clear it

I can feel the weight is lifting
I'm barely staying on the ground
And I can feel the wait is over
Finally the lost is found

(Chorus)
So, this is what it feels like to live life
So, this is breathing air for the very first time
The Son of man, He came here to give life
And in return He's asking for mine
I've Been captured by grace
I'm not going away
I'm Yours to take