Jesus entered a village where a woman whose name was Martha welcomed him.
She had a sister named Mary who sat beside the Lord at his feet listening to him speak. Martha, burdened with much serving, came to him and said, "Lord, do you not care that my sister has left me by myself to do the serving? Tell her to help me."
The Lord said to her in reply, "Martha, Martha, you are anxious and worried about many things. There is need of only one thing. Mary has chosen the better part
and it will not be taken from her."
Today, I found out that on Thursday, Father CT had left us because of a sudden retirement of one of the priests elsewhere in the state; it was a surprise to the Bishop as well, but there was no one else to send, even if Father CT's recovery from his anyeurism is not yet done. I have a friend who has had many confessors reassigned every time she got used to one, but this is the first time I've had a priest reassigned on me.
It's not that we were really that close, when I went to his confessional, bar one time, I was never surprised at what he said or the penance he gave. In fact, the only penance I ever received from him that was a total shock was when I prayed before going in, "Lord I know the penance that I'll be given, so let's just get this over with" and I was totally humbled by getting another as if God were going, "Tsk. Tsk. Tsk. my child. Don't get comfortable."
I will still miss Father CT though, as I would have when I left for my new university. It's just a little sooner with no time to say goodbye is all. Father CM was telling our seminarian today that it was time for him to learn the fine art of fundraising, and he, along with Father CM, would be facing wet sponge bombardment this afternoon at the parish picnic in order to raise money for the local Catholic grade school.
Anyhow, why is this entry titled "Mary, Martha, and Me" one might ask, if anyone reads this still hehe. Well the truth is simple, like many people who read this passage and think about it, I can easily identify with Martha. Martha is defined by her worries, by her anxieties; she's so busy being, well, busy, to do anything else.
She's most likely a godly person, she welcomed this great teacher whom she did not realize was the Messiah into her home; she was serving He and His Disciples a meal. She was letting them in out of the heat and offering them a great deal of hospitality. She was keen on helping others, something I often try to accomplish as well. Yet that was not enough for the Christ.
Instead He chides her when she asks for her sister to aid her rather than to sit and listen to Him. He says, without condescension, "Martha, Martha, you are anxious and worried about many things. There is need of only one thing. Mary has chosen the better part and it will not be taken from her."
I at least can hear my own name in those words. For the root of almost all my issues is that of fear, and allowing those fears to grow into worries and anxieties about every little thing, just like Martha did when serving her honored guests.
Today for instance in the bulletin, was the announcement that there are no Confessions next week due to Father CM doing a wedding out of town, and for an instant I panicked; those who know me know my struggles and why this would be such a panic worthy moment since I've gone two weeks now without needing to confess a certain sin in particular. I'm still worried about the contracts for the school and for the apartment. I'm still worried about having hurt the person I cared most for. I'm still worried about driving mom to fly out on Thursday. I'm still worried about if I can pay my bills when I move, or if I can complete the program and get my final degree. I'm still worried about whether or not I can make friends in my new university and I'm still worried about if I'll ever meet my future wife, or if she even exists.
In the Gospel reading today, it was like I was being spoken to directly, "Phil, Phil, you are anxious and worried about many things. There is need of only one thing." I must bear that one necessary thing in mind, and I must not let it slip from my grasp. For in the face of that one necessary thing, all others pale in comparison, and my fears and worries, my anxieties, are all drowned out and eclipsed by the glory of His divine love.
In the show Babylon 5, Valen asks, "Will you follow me into the fire? Will you follow me into darkness?" Christ asks, "Will you love Me? Will you let Me help direct your life? Will you allow the Holy Spirit into your heart? Will you give praise to my Heavenly Father?"
I know that I say yes with my mouth to these things, but that I often fall short. And that has often worried me; scrupulosity, I'm told, is one of my great sins. We all fall short of the glory of God. The key is to pick ourselves back up, embrace that love, and to say, "Yes Lord, I'll do my best not to fall again". And when we do, we do. But He will always take us back.
No comments:
Post a Comment